Wednesday, January 6, 2010

If I were to chart my time in the shape of a pie, or in other words, a pie chart, there would probably be two slices that everyone would want, and then the "donate to charity" sized remainders to what I do. The two big pieces would be work and internet, and I think with me going back to school this semester there will soon be a third piece. I usually spend most of my internet time reading other blogs, reading about sports, reading draft charts and short stories, and facebook. I can't lie about the facebook thing because anyone with half a brain can tell that, but I actually do spend a lot of time reading, because reading is what inspires me to write this, but the more that I read, the more I've started realizing how hard it is to find entertaining things to write about and how hard it is to stay motivated and fresh. I've given this a lot of thought lately due to my recent urge to actually develop either one of my movie ideas or one of my reality shows. It seems that almost everyone has a good idea for a reality show, I know I've claimed several, but instead of just thinking, yeah that would make a great show, I've started asking more critical questions. Why would people want to watch this? Is it duplicatable? How much could the production company make off of product placement? How do you keep it interesting? What about this show is unique and would convince someone to give you the money to produce it? This has led to a refinement of a lot of my ideas, mostly to the point that I end up throwing them away, which I'm not super depressed about, because if they really were that good, I'd be putting them to use. I feel like I have developed the skills lately that would make me good at this kind of thing, but at the same time, I'm not the kind of person who could do it alone, and typically my wingman at some point would be Jay, but he is in Salt Lake and our schedules rarely allow for us to talk and plan things, so for now I'll go it alone. I have no idea how you go about something like this, but I plan on spending a fair amount of time in it, because, and this is my segway to my second point for this little rant, I am losing the fire at work. I have a pretty great job for college, decent enough money, it isn't difficult by any means, flexible hours, but I'm still poor and it is BORING, and holding my attention to one task that holds zero interest REALLY sucks for me. Almost to the point that I think I have adult ADD.

(I looked up the symptoms online, and I have a lot of them, i.e. being forgetful, easily distracted, being late, which EVERYONE knows I have a huge problem with, anyway...)

In addition, we have a new manager, and like every new manager, this one is out to prove that he/she can change all the bad habits at the store and make things better, because the last three managers just didn't have the tools that he/she does, etc, which basically leads to firing half the staff and trying to tell all the current employees how to do their job. This bugs me to no end, because I've seen this happen three times now, and the outcome is almost always the same, manager gets burned out and the employees slack again. The whole process is getting frustrating. So I came home tonight to look at jobs, and honestly, it was bleak. I mean, really bleak. Like less than a hundred jobs TOTAL. That is pretty scary. I'm chalking some of that up to the fact that the new year just started, and some of it to the fact that a good portion of the jobs that might be open aren't listed in the places that I looked for them, but that may be a little hopeful. I want to say that I feel the same enthusiasm that everyone else does, that 2010 will be better, and I think that a lot of it will be for me because of my changes that I've made since last year, but there is still so much beyond my control that I'm unsure about. I guess in times of doubt you just need to buckle down and do what you can, and hope that things turn out for the best, because they almost inevitably do.

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