Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Roundup

It's about time that I posted something new here, and since I've decided writing exclusively about sports is probably a waste of time when I have lots of ideas to write about in general, I'm just going to free flow this bad boy for a bit. Starting with a list;


Things I Don't Get:
-Why everyone thinks the Jazz had a bad draft. My poor friends have lost YEARS of their lives because A, Brevin Knight can't hit a jumper, which I can't do either Brevin, so no hard feelings, and because Jason Hart wasn't exactly the right fit, to be polite. Please, Let Dylan MacLeod live to see 40. Just accept it. The only other player who could have made a real difference in this draft was Blake Griffin, or maybe Stephen Curry.
-Why girls take so many pictures of their shoes. Really? You love feet that much?
-School. I just suck at it. Period.
-Why more pop stars don't try to fake their deaths. This may be totally inappropriate, but Michael Jackson is cleaning up in sales right now. Maybe it's my cold heart, I don't know.
-Why people in Asia are following my twitter...
-What happened to RocknRolla. Was I the only one who saw this movie? Was it not great? Did someone slip a happy pill in my coke before the show and I just dreamt it all? Go rent it right now, please, I need the sequel.
-Girls. I'm sorry, I just don't see it ever happening.
-Why country music just feels so good. Even Hootie had to switch. I love you Darius Rucker....


I've started a new job recently. I deliver pizzas for Pizza Hut. It's really fulfilling. Kids on the street love me, I'm known worldwide as "The Pizza Guy" or "Pizza Dude" and I feel like Fall Out Boy at a rock concert whenever I show up to a party, because honestly, when you're drunk and hungry, who doesn't love to see some pizza? Alas, that does not always leave me fully satisfied as having really pushed my limits, and having GPS on my phone has taken the fun out of the game I used to play called, Find The Street. SO, in order to combat the impending boredom and soon to be hatred of doing dishes when there are no deliveries, I've invented some World's Strongest Pizza Guy style events that I try to compete daily in so that I stay motivated. They are....

-Garbage Bag underhand carry and toss: Carry as many full trash bags as possible to the dumpster in as short a time as possible, then proceed to toss them OVER the fence and land them in the LEFT dumpster from a distance of fifteen feet. Bonus points if you can throw a box and a bag, points deducted for dropping anything else in your hand or for being French. Unless it was that really hot blonde girl who sat next to me on my way to Ukraine. She wins at everything.

-Hand Toss Carry: Stack as many COMPLETELY PREPPED pans of hand tossed pizza dough on top of one another, and carry them from prep table to the freezer, where they are stored overnight. Included in this challenge is the task of opening the door while NOT setting down the pans, and placing all pans DIRECTLY on the racks in the freezer. Two divisions, medium and large. My record is thirteen for each, seeing as how that is the number that will fit on the rack. I'm still working on a technique that will slide a larger stack onto the racks.

-Sink Lift- How long can you hold a sink up while someone else cleans underneath it? If you saw my dishwashing station, this would make much more sense, I promise.

-Salad Cart Push (cancelled): Designed to see how fast you can push the salad cart from the freezer to the salad bar station with all loose condiments remaining on the cart. Cancelled after I almost killed a retired couple and covered a five year old in ranch dressing. Okay, not really, but I don't really want to try it when customers are present and get fired. I need my job. Really. Stop Laughing. IT'S A TOUGH ECONOMY!!!




I'm trying to become more addicted to twitter, not because I really want people to see what I am doing, I could care less, but I like using it as kind of a notepad. I tried this on my mission to Ukraine about a million times, but pens, pads of paper and trying to get all that out while doing a plethora of other things, along with not sitting on my notepad and just beating it to death in my pockets is pretty cumbersome, so I'm seriously hoping this twitter thing pays off for me. As if I didn't text enough already.

I think I could probably write more here, but this is a good start for me. I really could go off for about an hour on more sports topics, but I think better to leave that for another day.

1 comment:

Taylor said...

love you big guy.
you're right-i think it's weird that girls take so many dang pictures of their shoes. i'm with ya on that.